So far the “stimulus” bill is up to around $900 billion, but let’s just round it up to a nice even trillion. Heh, what’s a measly $100 billion between friends these days.

Now to really get some effective stimulus going, I’d propose that we take our one trillion dollar check down the the local bank and ask them to convert it to pennies. What better way to create jobs than cranking up the US mint?? But now we’ve got a problem. How in the world are we gonna get our 100 trillion pennies home? By my rough calculations 100 trillion pennies weighs in the ballpark of… get this: 550,660,792,952 pounds or 275,330,396 tons (BTW, I had to turn my iPhone sideways so its built-in calculator could understand numbers that large).

After some dedicated research I think I’ve found the perfect truck for the job: the Caterpiller 777F with a rated payload of 100 tons.

Only problem now is that its gonna take us 2,753,304 trips to get all of our pennies home. But no worries… I’m a glass half full kind of guy… it just means more jobs to go around.

Drivers wanted.